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Should love be transactional?

How do we define love? Why does love make us feel special? If you ask me to put in simpler words I frame – Love is a place of refuge, for pain and growth. The whole idea of love is differing based on the relationships we have. Love is creation, learning, unlearning, growth. Love is about the company during tough and good times!


As time passes by, we evolve, learn, unlearn, grow and make new ideologies. In recent times, we have stepped into the culture of Transactional love. In recent times, we consider love as a commodity to be procured and shown. It has been bounded by the walls of unrealistic or socially advertised walls. For many, it’s a question of self-integrity and worth. We often compare and evaluate the love we receive as a commodity. We often try to rationalize everything into transactional. We reduce our ability to experience love to only one person that will deliver it to us. We often end up questioning the love if it doesn’t meet our expectations.

It’s human psychology to expect things from a loved one because that’s the place of acceptance and affection. We do things which we often expect from one. If they don’t meet the level of expectations that leads to questions like “Am I the one who is trying hard for this relationship?” “Do I deserve better?” “What if he /she doesn’t feel the same way? These doubtful questions often pile up and result in a barrier to understanding each other. We need to release ourselves from the notion that we ever have to earn or deserve love. Once you understand this, it’s a lot easier to stop internalizing someone else’s less-than loving behaviour.


It's difficult to analyse and answer this question because there isn’t a black or white answer, it's simply grey. I guess we all are so trained to find the right answer that we are unable to simply look and observe.


I believe that love shouldn’t be transactional, it should be sharing. With sharing, there is less burden of expectations and responsibilities, and it's more about care and affectation. Our intent to support our own good opens the door to connection with our inner self and love fills our hearts. This deeply joyous feeling can then be shared with others whose hearts are also open to loving and learning.

The sharing of love is truly an amazing experience. It can be sharing your time by talking or meeting or doing something for someone. It can be appreciating someone or something.

It can be making someone laugh.

Talking about what happened in the day. Your thoughts your feelings. Your experiences.

So however the complex love might feel at times, just share it. Trust me things will be better.



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