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The emotional dependence.

When was the last time you felt happy? When was the last time you actually made a decision without taking others' opinions into the context and just felt happy by yourself? Feeling happy doesn't need to be always about people or gaining some material value and then feeling joyous about it. It is a state of mind which makes you feel lightened and overjoyed for a moment. This post isn't about happiness in the main context it's about the emotional dependence we follow in our life. So what is emotional dependence? In simpler words: Depending on others for your own emotions. Eg. If you are wearing a new dress and someone tells that you don't look good. You will feel bad about it. The person can be even true but the thing is when someone points out something from appearance, character, or behaviour your emotions change accordingly. It is fine for a certain period but once the feedback loop gets intensified it becomes much of a hassle to maintain with everyone's viewpoint.

Analyse accordingly, are you dependent on what others think about your actions? When you are more dependent on others' perspectives you lose the core values that you possess. Changing every bit of your character just for someone else is just absurd. The most complex thing is when people start expecting from you and when the expectations aren't met you become the antagonist in their story.

Never expect to reciprocate the same behaviour as yours from someone else. You can't control others' behaviours but you can control yours. So just do good to others and don't expect the same from the person. Find happiness in helping people and creating some sense of value in their life not when they reciprocate the same behaviour as yours. Everyone is different. Most responses come from the people who you least expect from. As Gaur Gopal Das says "Life is not always about getting what you like but liking what you get". Try to find happiness in what you already have rather than running behind the things which you haven't acquired.

I would share this one experience where I just followed my perspective without expecting the outcome. In Jr. College, we had this electrical theory assignment. We were given a hefty 10 assignments which we had to complete in a month. So we decided to share the work with our friends. Our group had 8 peeps and we decided that one person would write one assignment and then exchange the assignment with each other so that we wouldn't waste our time searching for the answers. So if one person completes an assignment he would exchange his with someone else's and copy that which eventually saved a lot of time. That seemed a fairly great idea I started with the assignment and once I completed one I shared it with them. No one from the group wrote the assignment except for me. For the next month, I kept writing the assignments and just shared all of them whenever I used to complete one. Likewise, I completed all the assignments by my selves without any help from my friends. I was expecting at first that someone would write an assignment and would share it with me so that I would copy that. No one did. Then I thought that if I kept writing all the assignments I would complete the work before the deadline and also it would be much easier for them also to just copy the assignments. I shared all the 10 assignments with them before time.

What was the outcome of all the efforts which I took? Well, I got the maximum marks in the electrical subject [182/200]. Also, everyone had to rush at the last moment as they copied my assignments but they thanked me for my efforts as well. I wasn't doing for a silly "thank you" note. I did it because I felt really good when I used to complete the assignments and then share it with them. It was something like "I have completed this, just posting because I know I am ahead of you fellas". This mindset changed my perspective. I didn't wait for their instance to be happy. I just kept doing what I had to do without expecting the same thing in return.

All in all, we don't need to be dependent on someone else thinking that they will treat us well or they will say something nicer to us. The key to an interesting life is always enjoying your cup of tea rather than getting some critical advice on your method. Be happy with what you possess because "life isn't about getting what you like but liking what you get". If you liked this post then please subscribe to our mailing list at the bottom of this page.

Cheers ✌️.


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