A few days ago I saw a reel on Instagram where this dude said “In the next 3s think of 3 people you love”. I thought about the most important three people in my life and after 3secs he said “you did not pick yourself”. I was completely taken away to think “ya why didn’t I choose myself?” How did I forget the person I love the most “me”, “myself”!! 🥺.
Have you noticed, you are sometimes dependent on one person for your emotions? Like if they are angry with you, your whole day seems sad and probably you have a bad mood 🤔. It's like they have the remote control of our mood, coz they set your emotions about what you should feel. This becomes sometimes more agonizing because at times you might hurt other people because you’re having a bad day because of someone else. Showing your rage to someone when it's not their fault, shows that your emotions are not in your control.
If someone else is controlling your mood, you aren’t yourself, also you are losing your true character and feelings. It is like you are sitting in the backseat of the car and the other person is driving you to a location where they want to take you 😬. There are certain ways where you can check your emotions.
🤔The third person perspective: Ankur Warikoo shared this story on his social media handle: Once he was driving his car and the person behind him started honking loudly, the guy just wanted to overtake, once he did Ankur was behind him and now he started honking loudly at him just to make him feel the way he irritated him. But then he says if some stranger was looking at us honking at each other they would have thought they both are the same person honking like crazy and just irritating the pedestrians. “The worst way to teach someone a lesson is to make them feel just the way you felt when they hurt you.” Because then there’s no difference between who was right and who was wrong you both become equal. If you see the situation from a third person’s perspective you see yourself as a whole completely different person wherein you judge yourself without being biased by your own vision.
🧘The monk way of thinking: This ideology is taken from my fav book “Think like a monk” by Jay Shetty. Jay is a former monk and he wrote this book about his learnings from the ashram. In this, he describes that monks are calm, cool-minded people who think about the root cause of the problem 🌱. The root cause defines why the problem is being caused or what’s the origin of the problem. Once you know what is causing you to think the way you think about someone you need to find a permanent fix for the problem.
Most of the emotional problems are transferred by someone else into you. If they are mad at you, you are angry and you become the person you don’t want to be. Detachment from emotions is necessary to be in your real form of character. “Detachment is not that you own nothing, but that nothing should own you”. This quote is so accurate. The greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you. Don’t be dependent on someone for your emotions be free of what you feel and what you think 😇.
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Cheers ✌️.